Jesus and Elvis: Here Comes Freakazoid

Jesus: ...and that's what people never really get about the New Testament, is that half the time I was just being sarcastic, and the other half I was --

Elvis: Ah, shit. Here comes freakazoid. Don't look now, man... Don't look...

Jesus: Which freakazoid?

Elvis: Manson.

Jesus: Marilyn?

Elvis: Nah, Charlie. Ah, shit, he sees us. Great, he's walking over... Oh, hey, Charlie. What's happening man?

Jesus: What's up, Chuck?

Manson: Hi Jesus. Hey Elvis. Nothing much. I recorded a new CD. You guys wanna come over tonight and listen to it? Maybe we could get some wine or something. Hang out.

Elvis: Um, well... I don't know if I wanna drink tonight...

Jesus: Yeah, I've got kind of a big day tomorrow, bunch of... stuff to do. Sorry, Charlie.

Elvis: (snickering)

Manson: What's funny, Elvis?

Elvis: Huh? Oh, nothing, man. I was just... I was just thinking about something else.

Manson: Oh. Well ok, maybe some other time then... (mumbles something under his breath).

(long, awkward silence)

Jesus: So, Charles. Your new CD. Is it just, like, you on acoustic guitar?

Manson: Oh, no, no, not at all. I'm not doing that folk stuff anymore. No, It's total synth-pop this time. I've got this one song “My Brain is the Dragonfly That Flies Through the Fire of My Brain”, and it's...

Elvis: That's a really long title, man.

Manson: That's not the title, Elvis. That's the whole song. It's got a real heavy bass beat.

Jesus: Oh, so it's more modern sounding then?

Manson: I guess you could say that. It's kind of timeless sounding, I think.

Elvis: Hm. So you got a drummer?

Manson: No, I use a drum machine. It's a really nice one, though.

Elvis: A drum machine? Oh. So it's all just you then? You just dubbin' tracks?

Manson: Yeah, mostly. I got Michael doing some back-up vocals on one of the --

Elvis: Michael who?

Manson: Jackson.

Elvis: That guy? Oh, well I definitely don't wanna hear that!

Manson: Why? What's wrong with Michael Ja... Ohhh. Yeah. Right. Forgot about that. Sorry.

(another awkward silence)

Jesus: Well, it's getting a little late...

Elvis: Yeah, we ought to head out, I guess.

Manson: Oh, ok. Well, hey Jesus, maybe I'll drop by some time. I had this vision the other day, and you were in it. It was pretty heavy. I thought maybe we could talk about it, or meditate on it or something.

Jesus: Um, sure Charles. Why don't you call first, though, ok? Been really busy lately. Lot of stuff going on.

Manson: Oh, yeah, sure, no problem, man. I know how it is. Hey Elvis, y'know, if you ever wanna jam sometime, or just hang out and shoot the shit...

Elvis: Yeah, sure man, we'll see. Catch ya later, Charlie.

(they walk away)

Elvis: Man, that cat's a fucking freak. And a half.

Jesus: No kidding. He marches to the beat of a different kettle of fish. Did you see the way his face kept twitching? He's not as bad as he used to be though.

Elvis: Yeah, he's really mellowed out a lot. I guess we all have. Hey, man, that was funny when you said “sorry Charlie” - like that tuna fish commercial.

Jesus: I know, that was funny, wasn't it? I almost cracked up myself.

Elvis: Were you trying to be funny? Or was it just --

Jesus: No, it just popped out that way. I'd never thought of it before. “Sorry, Charlie”...

Elvis: What was that other thing you said... You said something else that was funny...

Jesus: Did I? I don't know...

Elvis: Oh yeah – You said “What's up, chuck”.

Jesus: Why's that funny?

Elvis: You know, like “up-chuck”. (makes a barfing noise)

Jesus: Oh yeah... up-chuck. That is funny.

Elvis: Man, you're like an accidental comedian or something.

Jesus: So, I guess he's hanging out with Michael Jackson these days...

Elvis: Yeah. That's gotta be a weird scene. Jesus.

Jesus: What.

Elvis: No, I'm just saying... Jesus.

Jesus: Oh, like “Jesus”, the expression. Right.

(They stop. Elvis lights a cigarette.)

Jesus: So what do you want to do tonight?

Elvis: Well, he was talking about wine, and that kinda' got me thinking...

Jesus: I'm way ahead of you, Elvis.