Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Hey, guess what?


I'm gone for a few days. Old Knudsen, Morbid Misanthrope, the mysterious D.C Warmington and myself will be deep in the jungles of Peru, fighting our old enemy, Xenu (there's more to being a Captain than just wearing a funny hat, you know).

Of course, Knudsen will probably keep blogging right through the fighting, the crazy bastard.

I sure hope that John Travolta guy doesn't try to tag along. He may be able to dance, but he handles a machete like a little girl.

(If any reptilian-looking guys ask where I am, just tell them I went to the beach for a few days.)

16 comments:

jali said...

I'm no longer allowed to speak to reptilian looking guys so I can't offer my assistance.

Zoning Out Again said...

I'm so glad you are taking Morbid M with you! He's a scary dude...he'll take care of you!

Miss Smack said...

Safe trip xx

Beefcake Almighty said...

That's LORD TRAVOLTA, to you mister.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Hey, when you're done fighting Xenu could you make a trip out here and take care of a few spiders for me?

Jo said...

Pack Ipecac.

Cunning Linguist said...

I dunno. The guy can fly a friggin airliner. That's gotta come in handy somewheres I'd think. Have a good mini vacation.

Shelly Rayedeane said...

See, you leave us to go where the boobs are.

And then you leave us to go where the boobs are again.

Why don't you just get a sex change or something?

That way the boobs will be always be here so I can read your blog dammit!

Cunning Linguist said...

Shelly,

If we could have the inane power to have boobs at our beck and call, would that be such a good thing for humanity? I think not. I'm inclined to beleive that life as we know it would crumble and fall into dissaray due to us just staring and laughing like schoolboys if it were possible. heh heh heh..... boobs.

phishez_rule said...

What about if the non reptilian guys ask where you are?

Or the semi-reptilian guys?

Old Knudsen said...

One of those reptiles just saved me money on my car insurance before I put his lights out, "Cry havoc and lets post about some dogs with tits."

Josh said...

Stay away form the volcanoes and H-bombs, I heard that bugger does not fight fair when faced with revolution.

Not sure if John Travolta would be much use, he flys a 707 for Qantas rather than the DC-8's used by Xenu.

Good luck in the good fight, I look forward to the next instalment of this space opera.

Miss Smack said...

Ok, can I get a few definition of a FEW DAYS?

5 or 6, eh??

Captain Smack said...

Jali:
My psychiatrist tells me not to talk back to them either.


Zoning:
Morbid knows 73 different ways to kill a man, and that's just with a butter knife.


Miss Smack:
Don't worry, I'll be safe. I always pack a few condoms.


Beefcake:
Of course. I also sometimes forget to say Sir Elton John.


Queen of Dysfunction:
I try not to kill spiders, I have a thing about spiders, or anything with 8 legs.


Jo:
Spoken like a person who's been to Peru.


Cunning Linguist:
Yeah, but he won't let us carry hair conditioner on the plane. I hate flying with dry, split ends.


Shelly:
That is creative problem solving at its finest. I mean weirdest. What's funny is that I used to think that you were one of the more "normal" people out there.


Cunning Linguist:
I would use my boobs for the good of mankind. And maybe to make a little money on the side, but mostly for the good of mankind.


Phishez:
Just assume that anyone with thin lips is reptilian. Never trust a person with thin lips.


Knudsen:
Good idea. I'll try to work a dog with tits into a post soon.


Josh:
The next installment you shall have.


Miss Smack:
Seven, apparently.

jali said...

Here's the link where I posted your link.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=8933622#post8933622

Anonymous said...

good points and the details are more precise than elsewhere, thanks.

- Norman

About Me

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People often tell me that I look a lot like Jesus, so I always wear a Captain's hat so they can tell us apart. I also enjoy wearing robes and rockin' the tables.